A Few Thoughts

Staying up too late tonight.

Thinking too much probably.

Had a thought.

All sexual immorality, fornication, adultery, homosexuality, etc etc, are essentially a lack of trust in God.

A person does not believe God when he says what is best.  A person does not trust God to give him/her what he has intended for them at the proper time.  A person thinks they are a better judge of what they want and/or need.

In any situation in life, that doesn't often work out well.  Trusting in your own weak human mind and will over the Almighty God.

So maybe we need to start with showing people how to be loved by God and how to love God and let him sort out the rest.  Let him speak to their heart when he has their trust.

A few thoughts.

Maria

On my mind today is Maria.

Maria is a person I've had multiple interactions with though never developed a close friendship.  I know she loves my nieces and nephew.  I know she would always come to help my sister when she needed her because Maria values family.

I've always had a soft spot for Maria.  Everyone who meets her has a soft spot for Maria.

Maria grew up in a third world country where her culture taught her that she wasn't as valuable as a son.  She learned that there were very few jobs or roles in life that she was qualified for because of her gender.  I suspect she didn't sit around as a little girl and dream about being a doctor or a journalist or an artist.  Growing up in a communist and then post communist country in the mid to late 20th century was a lot different than my upbringing in 90s America.

Maria was abused in her past.  No one has ever obtained exact details about what happened to her but at least one instance of gang rape is suspected.  Again, this happened in a culture where women are not only blamed for being a victim but where it's often overlooked because the shame of not being a virgin is greater than the shame (or lack thereof) of being a rapist.

Maria came to live in America illegally with some of her legal relatives.  She never married.  She worked in the different family businesses and helped everyone with raising their children, including my sister's children.

Some years ago she was diagnosed with cancer.  She has always refused treatment except a few surgeries.

And now she is dying.

She was able to make it back to her mother in Eastern Europe and she is in a lot of pain.  They don't have hospice or a place for the dying in her country.  They are refusing her morphine at this point but from what I'm told, she could really use it.  Would you please, reader, just say a prayer in your heart right now that she would be given some comfort and pain relief in this time?

Heaven knows she hasn't received a lot of that throughout her life.

I know that in death she will find relief.  In the arms of the one person who can love us the right way, she will find that acceptance and value that it seems she was never able to feel in life.

Maria is only one of many.

We live in a world where very few women live in cultures where they are valued and respected the right way.  Even in my desire to be tolerant and loving, respecting different points of view, I would argue that there is a right way.  No woman should get a cancer diagnosis at such a young age and feel there is nothing worth her living for and so refuse treatment, resigning herself to her death.

Every little girl should be protected and loved and grow up with dreams.  Every little girl should be told that she has a purpose and a calling and be given the resources and opportunities to find out what that is.

But many little girls are not.  Maria was one of those little girls.

Say a prayer for Maria at the end of her life.

Be moved to help those who still have time left.

What a great reminder!

Don't ever try and strike down the dreams, confidence, 

or courage of a young person.

Although our thoughts, beliefs, and goals may 

and often do change with age, 

once someone has destroyed our ability 

to have confidence in our dreams 

and the courage to pursue them, 

it's so very difficult to get that back.

Perfect Green Tea Recipe

Not my picture, but it looks right!

I love iced green tea!  And for a long time I was buying the Arizona version but never feeling quite right about it because of all the high fructose corn syrup and other "mystery ingredients" and decided to go online looking for recipes.

I didn't quite like any that I found but perfected one that works for me and maybe it will work for you too! :)


Amanda's Green Tea

- 16 cups of water
- 2 regular sized green tea bags
- 1/2 cup sugar (or sugar substitute, I like to use Stevia)
- 6 tablespoons honey
- 4 tablespoons lemon juice

Boil the water and then brew the tea bags for one hour.  While tea is cooking, pour the sugar and honey into the container you're going to use.  When the hour is up, remove tea bags and pour tea into the container.  Add the lemon juice.  Give it a few stirs and put it in the fridge until it's all cold.

Perfection! :D  Inexpensive perfection! (Even better!)

Lessons From Mother Teresa

I was given a reading of quotes from Mother Teresa a while ago and finally had some time to read through it in the middle of a rather opportune time.

After receiving some pretty hurtful nonconstructive criticism that had more to do with personality differences than anything important or pressing, I was feeling rather down.  I was getting married in less than two weeks but instead of feeling excited or happy, I was weighed down with regret, hurt feelings, and worry, mostly because of my all consuming desire for people to be happy or at least content with me and my decisions.

Basically struggling with the big ol' sin: fear of man.

I came across a prayer of Mother Teresa's that produced a few tears after only reading the first two lines...

Though you hide yourself behind the

unattractive disguise of the irritable,

the exacting, the unreasonable, 

may I still recognize you, and say:

"Jesus, how sweet it is to serve you."

It's hard to believe that this woman, at 17 years old, had such a grasp on what's important in life that she was ready to commit her whole life to doing his work.

In her future, she would dedicate herself to loving those the world deemed unloveable and allowing the dying to feel wanted in their last hours.  Dedicated to really desiring the things God desires and pursuing his heart for the lost.

And here I am.  In my cushy first world life, in the twenty first century, and my big concern is wether people are happy with choices that don't even have a real right or wrong answer.

My world is so small.

And yet God steps down into that world and speaks to my heart.  In a profound way.  Just when I need it.

Because he is good like that.  Soothing and encouraging.  The friend that doesn't just tell you what you need to hear but in the perfect way that you need to hear it.

In those moments I feel attacked, criticized, shot down by others, instead of responding with defensive gossip, resentment, or many other reactions that may come easily to me in my normal personality, I can choose instead to serve and love that person.  Remembering that God loves that person, even in the midst of their unkindness towards me, and I should love them too.  Even when it is a harder choice than I think I can handle because I don't have to handle it alone.

I have found that though the initial choosing is hard to do, once the "ball gets rolling", it becomes easier.  Love begins to fill my heart and overshadow the hurt.  In a way only God can bring about.

And so I am equipped to deal with the situation and feelings at hand and also prepared for the future when I run into hurtful words again.  All thanks to a woman who was willing to serve, love, and listen and learned such valuable lessons, some of which were written down and then able to touch my heart in 2013.

May I also truly be a woman willing to serve, love, and listen and learn some valuable lessons myself that may do some good, someday.

Grace For Toads

"I think we, as Christians, should…"  "I think we, as women, should...."  "I think we, as toads, should..."

Look familiar?

I see it in a lot of blogs, status updates, conversations, etc.

"Stop telling people they need to shape up!" sounds a little bit like I'm telling someone to shape up and stop demanding someone else to shape up… which is as confusing as it sounds.

It's hard to write about grace without sounding a little contradictory, but here goes.

As the oldest child in my family, I fit the oldest child stereotype.  Black and white personality, bossy, setting high standards for myself and those around me; basically, I'm not a naturally grace filled person.  I also have the tendency to live with disappointment weighing on my heart.  I second guess myself and others.  It's hard for me to trust, hope, believe, and even love properly in my natural self and through my natural heart.

My mother has always modeled the opposite for me.  Not only does she appear to have no struggle with offering grace to people but there seems to be no limit to how much she can take.  I remember her coming into the middle of our fights as children and encouraging us to "have grace" for one another.  At the time, I supposed that to be "mom talk" for "I'm tired of listening to the screaming" and I'm sure there was a little bit of that behind it.  As I've grown and begun to know my mother more as a "person" and less as the authoritative "mom" figure, I can see that there was much more behind it than her desire for peace and quiet.

The thing she values most in life are relationships.  Her relationships with her family, with her friends and community, to the world in general.  That means more to her than standards or behavior or the need to be right.  Because of my mom's great love for us as her children, she offered free grace to us on a daily, sometimes minute by minute, basis.  In her wisdom, she knew that we also should learn this lesson that relationships matter and the key to keeping them is grace.

Well my child self didn't necessarily want to have grace for my siblings.  My adult self struggles with the same thing.

But there is the problem.  The want.  The idea that I need to strongly desire giving grace to someone in order to demonstrate it in their life.

Something I've learned in my short 26 years on earth is that grace is a choice to begin with. 

Once you were dead because of your disobedience and your many sins.  You used to live in sin, just like the rest of the world, obeying the devil—the commander of the powers in the unseen world. He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God.  All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature. By our very nature we were subject to God’s anger, just like everyone else.  But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much,  that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!

~ Ephesians 2:1-5 NLT

In the midst of being angry, God chose to have grace, because of his love.

In the midst of completely justified anger, God chooses to have grace for me.

I find it hard to have grace in the midst of unjustified disappointment, in the midst of unjustified expectations, in the midst of my unwillingness to understand.

I deem myself judge of the world, of my friends, of myself when in reality I don't have the right or authority to speak up for or against myself or anyone else in the world.

You used to live in sin, just like the rest of the world, obeying the devil—the commander of the powers in the unseen world. He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God.  All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature.

The tendency when watching a person head down a destructive path, or just simply a path we don't approve of, is to make two mistakes: first, to assume that their upbringing, background, and experiences are all the same as our's and second, to assume that where they are headed is the result of their own choices.

Neither of those assumptions are true.

I have a hard enough time knowing the ins and outs of my own heart and the exact reason behind how I feel and what I want.  How can I begin to believe that I have a firm grasp on that information from someone else?

Paul takes the time to point out that all of us are unconsciously obeying the devil, that he is at work in our hearts, and that we have no other course but to follow the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful or human nature.  Not only is it our natural tendency to be this way, but it is what the world preaches as the proper way to live and think.  "Follow your heart."  "Do what's right for you."  "You can be whatever you want to be."

It's coming at us from inside our own hearts and from the outside.  From our culture, community, and often from our family and friends.

The path people are on has a lot more involved than choice.  Often, where people are in their life has very little to do with their own personal choices.

But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much,  that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!

God gave us life.  He saved us by grace.  He chose to give us grace. He didn't save us with an argument.  He didn't save us by changing laws.  He didn't save us by fighting with us.  He didn't save us with hurtful words.  He didn't save us by demanding we change our feelings or behavior before we could experience his mercy.

And yet so often, it appears we believe that's what will save someone.

Peruse through the gospels and you won't see Jesus "arguing with sinners", you won't see  Jesus running for political office and petitioning for the changing of laws to force people into living righteous lives, you won't see Jesus flinging hurtful words at prostitutes and tax collectors while refusing to make eye contact.  Out of everyone in existence, he could have the most right.  Not only is Jesus, God made flesh and perfect, he also has the ability to know the hearts and minds of people.  If anyone has ever had a right to point fingers and pass judgment on people on earth, it was Jesus.  Yet what did Jesus offer?  Grace.

God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.

~ John 3:17

Why is our desire to be right, or our desire to uphold a standard of behavior, or our desire to "create a bubble for our children" more important than loving the hurting world where it's at already?  The idea that our own will and defiance can control and change the world is founded back in that place where we deemed ourselves the worthy judge of ourselves and the world.

Give that up.  Surrender "your right" to judge, to be right, to control.  Love.  Choose to give grace.

Oh if only we could fully grasp this.  That our natural tendency to judge and point fingers cannot be the first course of action but must be replaced with grace, choosing to offer grace despite our feelings.

In the midst of the ups and downs of life and culture I hope I never forget my mother's timeless words.

Have grace for each other.