Jesus says in Matthew 5,
You have heard the commandment that says, "You must not commit adultery."
But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
(verse 27 & 28, NLT)
Today the idea of "lust" has been on my mind after a discussion/argument I had with a gentleman the other day.
In his mind, all of the responsibility for controlling lust falls on women and how well they are behaving or if they're dressing modestly.
The opinion he was sharing was not one I haven't heard before. In fact, it's something that a lot of people spout. Christians, Muslims, non-regligious, and others alike. For some of us, the belief is so ingrained and part of our being that we agree with his opinion without even being aware of it.
The idea was first brought to my attention while reading Why Not Women? by Loren Cunningham, David Hamilton, and Janice Rogers. (Maybe some day I'll actually come back to this blog and edit in some excerpts from this book. ;))
Why do us humans have our "rules" about women? Why do many Christian denominations insist women cannot be "leaders"? Why do many Muslims insist women should cover their heads and most of their bodies, some that women should cover every part except for their eyes? Why do some Mormons think a man can have as many wives as he can afford and/or wants? Why do men leer and cat call women walking down the street?
Why do some women allow it? Why do some women even support it or happily go along with it? Why do even some women argue with me that I'm the wrong one for standing up for freedom for women?
The statement that started the discussion was rooted in the belief that women should dress "modestly" because if they don't, women will cause men to lust after them. If women would just not dress like "sluts", men could live their happy holy lives with no problems.
But there's something significant in the verse from Matthew.
Notice what Jesus does and doesn't say.
What Jesus does say: "Anyone who looks at woman lustfully has committed adultery in his heart."
What Jesus does not say: "Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has been tricked into committing adultery because the tramp must obviously be exposing too much of her breasts or her blouse is hugging her figure too tightly or some other kind of immodesty."
In English, lust is defined as uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite; lecherousness. Illicit means wrong or illegal, by the way.
My first thought is, I'm supposed to believe that men are such uncontrolled immoral animals that unless a women covers her breasts they can only view her sexually? And not in a "I love you and I want to cherish you and share myself with you for all my days" sexually but in a wrong or illegal way? Men have zero discipline, maturity, or humanity? It's my job as a woman to keep them on track? (And afterwards, it's also my job to "submit" to such animals?)
I think it's something else though. It's the root of all oppression towards women.
It comes from an underlying belief that there's something about men that makes them better than women and there's something about women that makes them a commodity or a product for men to use instead of simply another human being.
This goes beyond "roles" or "modesty" or "rules." And it's a belief so intricately woven into things that men and women alike don't often even see that it's there or the cause of the problem.
The sad part is, that to an extent, women must believe it also, in order, on some level, to allow it to happen.
An then people try to use the Bible or God as support for their argument. They try to justify the surface issue that's actually caused by an underlying belief that women are "less than." It's ironic that the thought is women have some kind of God given responsibility to be stronger than men in order to keep men from sinning but also must be weaker than men in order that men can always be the "leader," don't you think?
I remember as a fourteen year old, having grown up in a relatively conservative church and family, being told all about how important it is for conventionally attractive (there's another blog in that idea right there ;)) women to help keep men from sinning and to stick to teaching children because women weren't worthy to share any of their knowledge with the menfolk, getting my hands on Christian feminist literature. I had no idea there was such a thing.
It didn't take me much reading to be blown away. God made me strong on purpose? God made me a researcher and a teacher on purpose? God really is sharing truths with me that he intends for me to share with others? Men and women alike?
God isn't just a masculine bearded manly father figure up in the sky. God is a mother hen. God is an emotional lover and cares about the emotions of others. God is everything feminine. God created women in his image because he is also feminine and we show the world his character and power as much as men do. As masculine and feminine, God rules over all. Part of himself isn't "in submission" to the other part. It isn't only his masculinity that is powerful and teaching us. His femininity guides and teaches us everyday.
It's the fierce unconditional love found in femininity that spurs compassion, understanding, and activism for the abused, hurt, and unnoticed. It's the desire for deep emotional connection found in femininity that creates family and community. It's the desire to protect and nourish others found in femininity that allows our children to grow up strong. And so many more things!
Satan would love nothing more than for those parts of God to be seen as inferior and unneeded. It is the strategic plan of the enemy to convince the world that women are the cause of the problems instead of part of the solution. It pushes a large portion of people away from God and it keeps those who stay from living in true freedom, men and women both.
When we insist on the big and even little oppressions of women, we insist on oppressing parts of God. We insist on doing away with a very important part of humanity.
We end up truly believing that when Jesus said "anyone who looks at woman lustfully has committed adultery in his heart" what he meant was "anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has been tricked into committing adultery because the tramp must obviously be exposing too much of her breasts or her blouse is hugging her figure too tightly or some other kind of immodesty."
We end up being so concerned with what women are wearing, saying, and doing and whether it's right that we miss being able to enjoy women and all the great things that God created them to be.
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