I was given a reading of quotes from Mother Teresa a while ago and finally had some time to read through it in the middle of a rather opportune time.
After receiving some pretty hurtful nonconstructive criticism that had more to do with personality differences than anything important or pressing, I was feeling rather down. I was getting married in less than two weeks but instead of feeling excited or happy, I was weighed down with regret, hurt feelings, and worry, mostly because of my all consuming desire for people to be happy or at least content with me and my decisions.
Basically struggling with the big ol' sin: fear of man.
I came across a prayer of Mother Teresa's that produced a few tears after only reading the first two lines...
Though you hide yourself behind the
unattractive disguise of the irritable,
the exacting, the unreasonable,
may I still recognize you, and say:
"Jesus, how sweet it is to serve you."
It's hard to believe that this woman, at 17 years old, had such a grasp on what's important in life that she was ready to commit her whole life to doing his work.
In her future, she would dedicate herself to loving those the world deemed unloveable and allowing the dying to feel wanted in their last hours. Dedicated to
really desiring the things God desires and pursuing his heart for the lost.
And here I am. In my cushy first world life, in the twenty first century, and my big concern is wether people are
happy with choices that don't even have a real right or wrong answer.
My world is so small.
And yet God steps down into that world and speaks to my heart.
In a profound way. Just when I need it.
Because he is good like that. Soothing and encouraging. The friend that doesn't just tell you what you need to hear but in the perfect way that you need to hear it.
In those moments I feel attacked, criticized, shot down by others, instead of responding with defensive gossip, resentment, or many other reactions that may come easily to me in my normal personality, I can
choose instead to serve and love that person. Remembering that God loves that person, even in the midst of their unkindness towards me, and I should love them too. Even when it is a harder choice than I think I can handle because I don't have to handle it alone.
I have found that though the initial choosing is
hard to do, once the "ball gets rolling", it becomes easier. Love begins to fill my heart and overshadow the hurt. In a way only God can bring about.
And so I am equipped to deal with the situation and feelings at hand and also prepared for the future when I run into hurtful words again. All thanks to a woman who was willing to serve, love, and listen and learned such valuable lessons, some of which were written down and then able to touch my heart in 2013.
May
I also truly be a woman willing to serve, love, and listen and learn some valuable lessons myself that may do some good, someday.
